Upon hearing bad news, or being unfairly criticized, or being told something we did not want to hear, we all have reacted in a way that was less than ideal. This makes sense because when our emotions are triggered, they tend to take center stage, inhibiting our ability to pause before we speak. We may feel compelled to release the tension by expressing ourselves in some way, whether it’s yelling back at the person yelling at us or rushing to deliver words of comfort to a friend in trouble. However, remembering to pause and take a breath before reacting can shift the energy of the outcome. Our initial response is not always what’s best for us or for the other people involved. There is much to be said for teaching ourselves to pause, take deep breaths, and then respond to the shocks and insults that come our way. When we react to childish rage with childish rage we escalate the negativity in a situation, further ensnaring us in an unfavorable dynamic. Similarly, when we react thoughtlessly or defensively, we often end up regretting our words or actions. Ultimately, we can save ourselves a lot of pain if we just learn to take a deep breath and really tune in to ourselves and the other person before we respond. However, this doesn’t mean we don’t say anything, because in some cases, that may be the best option. Some situations do require a fairly immediate response, but just a moment of grounding ourselves before we do so can help enormously. So, the next time you find yourself wanting to react, remember to pause, and in that pause, take a deep breath. Rather than just going with the first thing that pops into your head, feel your feet planted on the floor, and listen for a response to arise within you. You may find that in that moment, there is the potential to move beyond reaction and into the more subtle and creative realm of response, where something new can happen.
Heart to Heart,
Rev. Addae